Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Don't Judge Me, Monkey

So today I'm going to talk about some of my likes and dislikes.... I just feel like doing a fun blog, and I'm allowed to because I said so.

Things I REALLY like:

Samantha Brown - I want to steal this womans job. Samantha Brown is my idol. She gets to travel the whole world for free, AND they pay her to eat at the most fabulous restaurants, have private tours of museums and cathedrals and stay in the most gorgeous hotels.... it's amazing. Plus she just seems so friendly and funny and warm. Definitely someone I would love to have a beer with... and she's probably had some of the best!

Diet Pepsi -- Yes, it's probably not a secret, but this stuff flows through my veins. I would be the ultimate sponsor for Pepsi. They wouldn't even have to pay me... just give me free soda.

Flip Flops -- I'm an Arizona Desert Rat... FlipFlops are just a way of life here.

Wizard of Oz -- You have no idea... I used to hole myself up in my bedroom and read these books, three at a time. Anything I could get my hands on that was Wizard of Oz was mine. My bedroom was a gigantic shrine to it when I was younger. No one can stump me on trivia; I am a bottomless pit of Oz knowledge. I had two dogs that had its namesakes, and bought custom made ruby slippers for my wedding for me and all my flower girls. (And don't say, "But Sara, they were really silver." I know, ruby slippers are a lot easier to come by and matched better with my dress) I don't know if it's something I should necessarily be proud of, but hey, it was my "Harry Potter," when I was younger. (And a much better series if I do say so myself.)

Broadway -- I LOVE THEATER! I've been having New York City withdrawls.... it's been about five years since I've seen a show in New York. BUT, I am totally excited because my Mom is taking me to "A Chorus Line" in September and my Mother-in-Law is taking me to "RENT" next March. WooHoo! I've never seen ACL before, but I stole my dads CD of the Original Broadway Cast when I was a younger and used to dance around my room choreographing all the numbers and singing the songs at the top of my lungs. Yeah.... a twelve year old singing about buying "tits and ass" probably isn't the best thing in the world but it was FUN and what I call a real musical. "Rent" I did have the awesome privilege of seeing in the City and it was AMAZING. It is in the top three of my all time favorite shows. Yup, it's another one of those shows I had/have every lyric memorized and could put on a one-woman show for you.

Stargate & Stargate Atlantis -- Call me a Sci-Fi geek or what have you, but any show that has as much delicious-ness as Colonel John Sheppard, is good enough for me to watch. I just might leave my husband to hang out with this hottie in the Pegasus Galaxy... mmmmm mmmmm mmmm.... (I think he's actually married to a porn star... damn.) Alright, the plot is nothing to sneeze at either. Even though I don't think there are life sucking aliens out there, I think that these shows scripts will be the H.G. Wells works of the future. In fact, many of the shows' key elements come from stories like The Montauk Project to the up- and-coming LHC. (Oh, and that {the lhc} will get a WHOLE blog of itself in the upcoming days; I'm a physics and "Scientific American," nerd as well.)

Things I REALLY Hate:

Lazy Cart People -- OK, I know you know what I'm talking about. People that leave shopping carts in parking lots when the cart return is literally two feet away. I don't know why it bugs me so much, but it really does. I have kids, I know it's a pain in the bum, but seriously people.

Screenames like WhisperingLavendarKisses or WildPassionateSage789365214 -- What is it with people that have screen names like this??? I picture people that wear all black and enjoy playing World of Warcraft. And OK, I'm totally going to offend SOMEONE out there, but I really hate those names like, "ScrapsForGod" and "WhatWouldJesusScrap." Don't get me wrong, I love Jesus and all, just not a fan of his "fanclub." And what's with the long line of random numbers at the end of a name? Is that a phone number? Social Security? Bank Account? Why can't people just have normal screen names? But then again, people name their babies "potato salad" and "pilot inspector" so, who's to say what's normal?

High School Musical and Hannah Montana -- Where do I even start? OK, High School Musical is the worst excuse of a musical if you ask me. I haven't seen it and don't have to... I've heard enough of it on the radio and tv I can tell it's a total piece of recycled pop crap. And what's worse is it actually makes all of these young kids think that's how High School is. I'm sorry, but the "unpopular" girl is never that pretty and just happens to somehow sing a karaoke song with the homosexual Basketball player and then they fall in love. And no one dances around singing about how their shit doesn't smell and they're worried that they won't have a date to the dance on Friday with roses flying out of their butts. And what's with a character being named after a small dog? I think it's Sharpei. Yes, because I want a name that invokes a wrinkly fat puppy in my brain whenever I look at a squeaky sounding blonde. Hannah Montana/Mylie Cyrus = Washed Up Daddy + Desperate Disney. And her whole "Vogue" Scandal just made me cringe. Annie friggin' Liebovitz was taking your photo. I would get naked and pretend to be a seal if that woman told me to. And the fact that Mylie was just wrapped in a sheet in one shot and then in another was just wearing a tube top, which was deemed acceptable as well, just doesn't make sense to me. So frustrating...

Sarah McLaughlins' Homeless Animal Commercials -- Don't get me wrong, I'm a big advocate for animal rights and rescue. I refuse to buy an animal from a pet shop and will only adopt from the pound and humane's society. Ninety-Four dogs in my home county of Maricopa alone are killed DAILY just because of abusive owners and people that only want the "pretty puppies." I've also blogged on myspace about the horrific and disgusting world of dog fighting. BUT, when I'm watching "Scrubs" on Comedy Central and am having a good laugh at Zach Braff and his sexy antics and then there is a commercial break, I do not need to start crying my eyes out about the poor doggies and kitties. It's definitely a Buzz Killer. And I can't blame it on Sarah McLaughlin or that actual charity that she is helping, but the people that chose those time slots for the commercial. Why not put it on QVC where poor, lonely women already have their credit cards out? Some things I'll just never understand, and this is definitely one of them. There's a time to cry and donate your time and money, but when I'm watching stand-up on a COMEDY channel and trying to relax from my day, it's not going to somehow jolt me into a realization that I need to hurry up and dial the number. Then again, I could just be a heartless bitch.

Driving -- I hate driving and worse than that, I hate bad drivers. And, I'll admit I'm not the "best" driver, but I definitely pay attention to what's going on around me more then most. I really hate men in their big trucks that have this mentality that just because they could run you over, they don't have to watch what they're doing and you'll just move out of their way. I've shown many of these men my middle finger. Then there's the people that drive in parking lots like they're on Nascar tracks. And what's with the WORST drivers having a really nice car most of the time??? I mean, I see a Lexus doing 50mph in the fast lane on the freeway and wish I had gun in my hand. I think when we go to the DMV we should also be given IQ tests. And the higher IQ, the better car you get to drive. When you have your IQ score printed on a drivers license, and if you're in the "lower" numbers and try to buy a Range Rover... even though your line of credit may be good your train of thought sucks. Sorry, you're getting downsized to a Dodge Neon that's five years old. Hmmmm... who can I write to about that one?
There are still many more things I love and hate, but these were at the top of my list. Hope you enjoy to agree and/or disagree with me. Have a great weekend.


Erika said...

Girl, you totally have me cracking up over here! I love your list! Especially the screen name pet-peeve...too funny and VERY true! Lazy cart people suck...I just want to ram the cart into their car as they drive away! I also loved your ruby shoes you wore in your wedding to reference your favorite things. Sucha cute idea! Have a great weekend. Cheers!!

Erika said...

YAY! I'm glad you saw and like Mamma Mia! I go to the movies by myself all the time. Usually just chick flicks that I don't admit to everybody that I even see, HA! That's crazy that your husband bought 2 jetskis and you fear water. Maybe you will overcome it!? They are so fun, to say the least! How many kiddos do you have? How old are they? We just started "trying" for our first! We are SUPER DUPER excited...and will be even more excited when I get the "positive" pee stick! haha! Sorry for the details. Well, back to my popcorn and HGTV :o]

Saige/Grace said...

I love your style, sense of humor, fun!

Keep on posting!

Tracey Locher said...

SERIOUSLY... I don't even know where to start! As a friend of yours... I'm glad to say I knew a lot of your "likes" already... but you are such an INCREDIBLE writer... I have told you that before, right!?... The Sarah M. ads... um, YEAH!... right there with you... MUSICALS... another reason you have to come visit me here in San Diego... by the way... when are you going to plan a trip here... you just HAVE TO COME and stay here for a visit!!! Lazy cart people... I TOTALLY AGREE! Not so much with you on the sci-fi stuff... Jeff LOVES the annual Twilight Zone Marathons and they just about KILL me! (Although I can pretty much now name every episode within the first 5 seconds!!!) Your blog is ROCKING, SARA!!! KEEP IT UP!!!

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